What to expect & some core principles that will guide our work

Big, uncomfortable, scary emotions are an engagement with what it means to be alive.

They feel burdensome when we’re told our feelings are wrong or bad or when we get the message that they’re “too much.” But fear, grief, rage, sadness, shame: they’re road maps, and my role is to coach you into and through those feelings & be your navigation co-pilot for the duration of the ride.

Slowing down is the most effective (and, paradoxically, the most efficient) way to feel better.

We slow down so we can really read the road map closely. This leads to intentionality. Slowing down is the way that automatic & confusing emotional reactions start to transform into deeply felt and considered emotional responses. Slowing down is self-love.

Therapy is hard work.

And in the same way that intentionally improving at something can turn a fun new hobby into a slog, therapeutic work might sometimes feel like a slog. That’s ok. It’s normal. Learning things is sometimes tedious, even when we know it’s good for us. It’s the same as with any sort of creative practice. We know making music or writing a novel isn’t always fits of inspiration and artistic breakthroughs. Sometimes (a lot of the time!), it’s playing scales over and over again, or it’s writing even when most of what gets onto the page is boring, unoriginal, and will be edited out. There’s value in simply showing up and doing the thing over and over because then, when the magic inspired moments do occur, you’ll be attuned, warmed up, and ready to live all the way into them.

Being curious about the stuff that triggers us is an absolute life hack.

I am so endlessly fascinated by people and their internal worlds, and the way our internal worlds influence/are influenced by the external world. It has taken a lot of work and help for me to approach myself with the same curiosity I have about other people. The idea is this: I’ll bring my curiosity to you and your world. Over time, as you experience me being curious about you & your triggers, you’ll start to mimic that curiosity, and before you know it, you’ll notice that you have a little less self-loathing and a lot more self-compassion. You’ll do less should-ing yourself, and you’ll replace the ‘shoulds’ with genuine questions.

Identity is not always fixed.

And as we move through life, our sense of self will shift and grow. Tracking those shifts as they occur and meeting them with compassion is a recipe for bringing vitality to our relationships and to our lives.

…but some identities are fixed.

As a white person living on land stolen from Indigenous people to build an empire made possible by genocide and enslavement, I’ve done a lot of exploration of what it means to be white and a “healer”. I’m committed to an anti-racist life and an anti-racist practice. For me, that means continuing to unlearn my own internalized white supremacy through therapy and somatic practices, engaging in conversations about race & it’s origins with other white people, and paying reparations in the form of monthly donations to the Loveland Foundation’s Therapy Fund and to Wabanaki REACH.

Mental health diagnoses are very misunderstood (and depression is not a disease).

Many people report feeling really affirmed and seen upon receiving a diagnosis from the DSM-5, and it’s a useful cultural item that tells the story of our evolving beliefs and attitudes about the human experience. However, the DSM-5 is also is a document that codifies the vast range of human experiences into a medical model and has been used throughout it’s history to do harm to Black people, to non-western cultures, to people in the LGBTQIA+ community, to women, and to disabled people (to name just a few). Despite what the mental health industrial complex would like us all to believe, problems & symptoms like depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, Autism, and personality “disorders” are not solely the result of “chemical imbalances.” The truth is that there are many complex and interwoven factors that shape our emotional and mental health and socio-political and systemic factors like racism, sexism, ableism, and homophobia have largely been ignored by the medical model. When we work together, I will not ignore those factors, and I always will consider you — not the DSM — the authority on your own lived experience.

If anything above resonates with you, let’s talk.